Sunday 30 March 2014

#8 Fearless

Pure Wisdom: The simple things that transform everyday life 
by Dean Cunningham 

Chapter 9: Fearless

Fear has an acrostic: False Evidence Appearing Real. Its often quoted to help people banish their imaginary fears. Clever and creative in its construction, it is often misunderstood in its application. Let me explain.

Essentially, there are two kinds of fear. One kind is the feeling we get when we're about to be run over by a car when crossing the road. It's the kind of fear that shout: run, dodge, dive or get out of the way. Clearly there's nothing imaginary about that, and no need for the acrostic.

The other kind of fear is in our heads. It's the thoughts we hold about what might happen in the future, based on our imaginary or experience in the past. This is the type of fear the acrostic is aimed at.

The trouble is, people often interpret the acrostic this way: if the fear is not an immediate physical threat, it's not real. But I disagree. Fear's function is to stop you from getting hurt. It warns you of danger whether it's a few months away, just around the corner or in your face. For instance, if I'm going to fight in a karate tournament next week and I know I've got holes in my defence, of course I'm going to be afraid. Especially when the symmetry of my nose is at stake. In fact, I'd probably pull out of the competition or work on my blocking skills. Fear of the future is helpful, healthy even. It motivates you to take action. 

You see, fear isn't the problem; it's the thought behind the fear. For example: if each time you took a lift you worried about it getting stuck, even when you had no evidence to prove it would, that would be unhealthy. Just a minute: I take that back. It may be healthy if you ended up taking the stairs. But it would be impractical if you had 30 floors to climb.

On a serious note, be very clear, we're not talking about being fearless here. The point is: we need to uncover the thought behind the fear, and then evaluate the evidence. If the evidence is false, then so is the fear.

We don't need to be fearless. We just need to fear less. 

There's more. We sometimes fear the unknown, or imagine things will be worse than they turn out to be. But, again, this doesn't mean we should be fearless. The right amount of fear is a good thing. It gets you moving. It invites you to choose differently. It might even get you up a flight of stairs. But when fear is taken out of the moment, held onto with a tight grip, that's when fear becomes a problem. It loses its motivational impact. It keeps you stuck rather than safe. 

By now I guess you're saying:' This chapter isn't about being fearless'. And you're right. It's not. Fear is such a powerful emotion that trying to get rid of it would be a waste of time. Even a clever acrostic, like the one above, wouldn't be much will be. And don't care to be. In fact karate teaches: we don't need to be fearless. We just need to be fear less. 

How? Listen to the fear. Learn the lesson. Take appropriate action. Then let go and move on. 

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