There are times where I can't go into sleep by just laying down at bed.
It usually happens when I am stressed.
All the assignments I haven't done.
All the disappointment towards myself.
All the things I could have done but didn't do it.
All the regrets I have in my life.
All the scenes that I hope to have in my life.
All the failures of my action.
All the things I didn't do to make you happy.
These endless thoughts haunts me that sometimes cause me to have a slight panic, where I was afraid of the world outside my room, and I hope I can live in my own world.
Last night was one of these nights, usually I will sleep in the condition of panic, but the night end up differently.
I suddenly thought of "grateful". I think I read it somewhere in books or internet posts, something related to stress management or in the book "The Secret".
I start to think of all the things I have in my life, where I am grateful of.
I am grateful of the family I have,
where they will back me up no matter how screwed up I am,
no matter how weirdly my attitudes are,
no matter how I could have hurt them by my words,
no matter how I should have done but I didn't do it,
no matter arrogant or inconsiderate I am towards them.
I know they will be my family and give me support.
I am grateful of the friends I have, where they were by my side,
where they share their secrets with me,
where they jio me eat even when I didn't ask them to, or I gave them hard choices due to my weirdness,
where they are willing to cope with my weird attitudes,
where they still be my friends even when we had our differences,
where they spend their precious time to hangout with me,
where they accepted my differences, without judging me,
where they cared about me, and my feelings,
where they are willing to share their knowledge or experience with me.
All these grateful,
gave me the courage to go to sleep, and embrace the possibilities that tomorrow will bring,
courage to face my nightmares, to tell me that everything will be great,
courage to face my screwed up life, no matter how screwed it will be.
I should be grateful.
BTW, I like this song, because it gives me a familiar feel.
Tears -LeeSSang feat Eugene of THE SEEYA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HDqBCcOv_7U
