Do you have
this best friend, which hangs out with you, but you are always competing with?
He may not be competing with you, but you think that he is just around your
level that you can “win” him just a little bit?
This is a
story about my friend from my hometown. I use “story” because it may not be
true at all, but a little inspiration of mine pushes me to write this.
At primary
school, we were normal friends. We hang out, we have fun, I have my best
friend, he has his best friend. He seem to be quite popular.
At
secondary school, we were assign to the same class. That’s how we become best
friends. Back in the day in form one, we didn’t have anyone we know, so we
stick together. We join the same club and society, we play the same online
games. It was good times.
Then, I
start to notice some differences. We were both a member of Boys’ Brigade, and
we need to learn a music instrument. We both take up the same music instrument,
but I learn faster than him. One day, our instructor scolded us because our
progress is too slow, but I didn’t feel much guilty because I think the
instructor wasn’t scolding me as I already learnt the part required. He ended
up crying, it was the first time I saw him cry. Later the next year, he quits
and join other society.
At academic
studies, my result was always better than him, plus his personality somehow
makes him a target to be mocked. Secondary school was brutal, students bully
the weak, even teachers sometimes bully the weak. He sometimes was “attacked”
by others, I sometimes feel sorry for him. But we would never lied to each
other, we remain honest and treat each other truthfully.
At sports
and computer games, he definitely did better than me. He run faster, he runs
longer, he jumps far, he play sports, and he spends time longer to play online
games. One sport that I know and he doesn’t is swim, but he is also learning it
now.
Back in the
day, I was naïve. My definition of winning was be better at academic, and this
make me seems like a winner. Then, it all changes when I entered university.
When I
entered university, I studied in Selangor, but he remains at Melaka. We still
hang out one in a while when I back Melaka. As we spend time at different
places, our interaction gets less by the day. But one day what he said really
touches me, he said I was his best friend. This makes me feels guilty, as I
didn’t think that I deserved to be his best friend as I keep neglecting him.
Then, my academic results in university getting worst by the day, he seems to
be catching up on his results. He has his own group of friends, and he could
earn money using online games.
What about
me? Sucks. Sucks at academic results, sucks at managing a club, sucks at
managing myself, sucks at earning money, and still kind of sucks at sports. My
definition of winning is not just about academic anymore, it changes to how
well you manage your life, and he was definitely wining me.
His
birthday just passed, and I will never forget this rival/best friend of mine.
It reminded me that life is not about competing with others, but competing with
your own values and beliefs. Only when you achieve something which validates
your value and your beliefs, you can be a winner.
